Do You Have a Porn Addiction?

Porn Addiction in Men

Data shows that men are more likely to watch porn⁵ than women. More research is needed about the viewing habits of other genders. While women still engage in porn use, their taste in content is markedly different. It also plays a different role in their lives. Specifically, women often watch porn with their partners,⁶ using it to increase intimacy. Men who watch porn, on the other hand, feel less intimacy with their partners. Some experts even think porn overuse might be linked to erectile dysfunction.⁷

Men with porn addiction may benefit from gender-specific treatment. In a men-only rehab, for instance, you can connect with other men who may share parts of your experience. You can also work with experts who specialize in related physical and mental health issues.

Relationships

Any behavioral addiction can have a negative effect on your relationships. Porn addiction, in particular, can take time away from the people who matter to you. For instance, you may choose to watch porn instead of dating, or having healthy sex with a partner. And then, when you try to reach out, you might no longer feel confident about your social skills. This cycle can isolate you from sexual partners, making it harder to meet your needs without porn.

Psychologist Stephen Sammut explains that porn addiction also changes the way you perceive other people.⁸ You might start objectifying your partner, and have trouble empathizing with them. This makes it easier to treat them poorly, even by mistake. Over time, this dynamic erodes intimacy and trust.

Self-Esteem

Porn addiction can damage your self-esteem.⁹ There are several reasons for this. First, porn might give you unrealistic expectations for your appearance, physical abilities, or relationships. And when you don’t measure up to the fantasy, you might judge yourself unfairly.

Social isolation also plays a role. When you’re lonely, your self-esteem suffers.¹⁰ And in the short term, your porn addiction might make you feel better. But in the long term, problematic porn use feeds back into the addictive cycle, keeping you away from friends and loved ones. Ultimately, you might need expert support to jumpstart recovery.

Treatment for Porn Addiction

Porn addiction doesn’t happen in a vacuum. For many people, recovery includes treatment for other mental health issues. For instance, research shows a strong link between porn addiction and impulse control issues.¹¹ And while porn and sex addiction aren’t identical,¹² they often co-occur. As a result, people with either condition can benefit from similar forms of treatment.

Talk Therapy

1:1 therapy is an essential part of treatment for most types of addiction. Among many different modalities, a few types of talk therapy are especially helpful for people with porn addiction:¹³

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) empowers you to reshape distorted thought patterns around your porn use. Patients learn new coping skills so they can respond to triggers more effectively.

• Psychodynamic therapy identifies the core issues behind compulsive sexual behavior. By working through shame, guilt, anger, and other feelings, you can eventually resolve inner conflicts.

Couples Therapy

Because porn addiction impacts relationships, family and couples therapy can be important during recovery. In particular, couples therapy helps partners reestablish trust after porn addiction.¹³ That process can be the first step toward a better relationship—and a better sex life.

This treatment isn’t right for everyone. Sometimes, porn addiction heralds the end of a relationship—and that’s okay. As you continue to heal, you’ll learn more about your own needs and goals. And even if having a partner is one of those goals, you might need more time to recover before you commit to anyone but yourself.

Support Groups

Porn addiction doesn’t only affect romantic relationships. It can also isolate you from friends, family members, and colleagues. Anecdotal data suggests that some people even lose their jobs because of porn use¹⁴ at work. Support groups can help you rebuild your community during recovery.

These groups can take many forms. Some people benefit from 12-Step groups like Porn Addicts Anonymous. As in other 12-Step meetings, members heal through faith and community accountability. If faith-based recovery isn’t right for you, you might consider a secular group, like SMART Recovery, or even attend group therapy. In any setting, reconnecting with your peers can help you develop a stronger sense of self.

Cultural Perceptions of Porn

Many people view sex in general—and porn especially—through a moralistic lens. As a result, the very idea of porn addiction can be controversial.¹⁵ Experts note a relationship between “perceived addiction” and “moral incongruence.” To put it simply: if you think all porn use is immoral, you might worry you have a porn addiction even when you don’t.

There’s a difference between pornography addiction and guilt about porn use. One is an ongoing behavioral pattern that broadly impacts your life; the other is a feeling. Of course, the 2 can appear together—it’s common to feel guilt about addiction. But not all porn use requires treatment.

Sexuality of any kind has a strong cultural significance. That means something different for every person, and it can change over time. As you consider your relationship with porn, ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Are you holding yourself to unfair standards? Or, are you rationalizing harmful behavior? For almost everyone, these questions have complex answers. And most of the time, answering them honestly can lead you toward a more fulfilling sex life.

Finding Balance After Porn Addiction

Healing from any addiction means getting to know yourself again. And in recovery from porn addiction, you may need to redefine your attitude toward sex. You might decide to abstain from porn entirely, and focus on your partnerships. Or, you might take a break from sex and romance altogether. There are infinite ways to strike a balance between your sexuality and your other needs. The goal is to find the path that works best for you.

Browse a list of porn addiction rehabs to learn about their pricing, treatment plans, and housing options.

Reviewed by Rajnandini Rathod

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